Hmm, well Phil seems to be talking to me again. Didn’t go too well, somehow he’s gotten badly hurt (My conclusion is that he got jumped maybe?) Told me all about his new air-rifle..oh and how he could use it to end his life if he wanted to or if I wanted him to after all he’s done to me, nice.

For some reason, he INSISTS that he’s holding me back. Err..holding me back from WHAT might I ask? Hell without him I don’t have much to get me up in the morning, and I’m pessimistic enough to ADMITT that!
And try as I might to tell him this, he won’t believe that he is actually HELPING me move forwards with my life. I have some major trust issues, especially when it comes to boys..when I’m with them I won’t let them touch me..just ugh no touchie!
And of course this usually leads to the death of said relationship.

But it was..DIFFERENT with Phil, I LIKED being with him, I LOVED being close to him, and cuddling with him was just amazing, I don’t get hugged alot (yeah yeah poor me) infact, I don’t usually get hugged at ALL, or shown any affection, especially at home. But then HE came along…

In the end I got just SO frustrated with him that I blurted out all about an asshole of an ex-boyfriend whom I had been in love with for FOUR YEARS, even though he messed me around something shockin’!  And here, my friends, was Phil’s reply.

Phil: Shit…
Phil: I g2g now, might cya and ttyl.
Me: Okay, cya.

And then..I chanced it.

Me: I still love you xxxx

No response. He went offline. Dammit.
So now I’m wonderin’ what the HELL I am doing! Does he like me anymore?! His reactions are sorta pointing to the answer I least want to hear.

HELP!